I knew that I was waiting for the wave to overcome me.  Life was just too easy.  I was surfing through life, I was on the surface, not too deep.  I  was afraid of the deep.   It was strange and unknown to me.   I knew it would eventually happen, I could feel it coming.  Life is hard.  People struggle.  Why was my life so easy?  What was I missing?  People have heartaches, they turn to God, they manage to make it minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day.  I knew it was coming for me.

Then the wave crashed over me, I was pounded into the bottom and it was worse than I expected.  I saw clearly  that  the bottom was a complex surging reality of life unknown to me.  It was misery, pain, and sadness. I was churned around and around,  this way and that, and could only gasp for breath every now and then.  I thought to myself  “I’d rather be dead”.

Then…. gradually….slowly….  the wave started to subside.   I was on the bottom gently rocking with the rhythm of the sea. What I saw was new, revealing, and thought provoking.  Here I could learn.  I could grow here. I would try to live in this new reality.  It would not be easy.  There’d be no more surfing.   A new life would engulf me like the wave.